The Southern Nest
by Nan Ma
Summary: MPREG. Sun Ce and Zhou Yu enjoy their new life as wanderers after the chaos, but a magical artifact leads to Zhou Yu getting pregnant and sick. They are forced to return to Wu, where extended family drama ensues.
1. Chapter 1

テコヨ、これを読めば、hi there! あたしは周瑜/孫策イラストを見た。"どうやってうれしさを実証する？"と思った。私はぜんぶ日本語を書くは良くないアイデアので、英語を使う。私は日本語がちょっと忘れた、ごめん！ it is the thought that counts, right?

* * *

His royal robes fluttering in the wind and his headdress shadowing his face, Sun Quan watched as a smudge of dust grew larger on the field. Could it really be? He had not seen him in more than two years and had barely written, aside from the more-than-occasional load of treasure sent home- perhaps Sun Ce was keeping his word this time when he promised to come visit for a while!

Sure enough, the haze on the horizon revealed itself to be a white horse leading a covered traveling cart and a liver horse. The darker horse had no riders and was led by its reins, but man seated on the white one pulling the wagon- his brother!

Forgetting his rank and his self-restrain, Sun Quan tumbled forward through the tall grass, waving like he was six years old again. "Sun Ce!"

"Lil' brother!" his voice called back- still the same voice, the same enthusiasm and volume! The older man pulled his horse to a halt and dismounted, throwing his arms around Sun Quan.

They stayed like that, embraced, for a few minutes, before Sun Quan pulled back to get a better look at the man who had plunked down rule on him so abruptly.

It was his brother, no mistaking it. He was tanner, definitely, dirty and sweaty from travel, and his hair was even more unkempt and shaggy than it usually was. But he was glowing- his skin, underneath its roughness, looked supple and strong, and his hair and goatee were glossy with health. Sun Ce looked genuinely happy, and freer than he had ever been while in service. His new life as a wandering treasure hunter clearly suited him very, very well.

"Oh, a present!" Sun Ce grinned broadly and dug around in his pouch, withdrawing a little artifact the size of two fists. "Here ya go! This thing actually came from north of the desert," he bragged. "Farther north than we'd ever been, I bet even father than Cao Cao himself! Anyways, we were going after a lost caravan along one of the old paths. When we found it after, you know, getting stuck in the sand dunes for too long, a lot of the fabric we were looking for was long gone and everything else was dust, but we did find this, so it wasn't a total loss."

"What a change. You always took the biggest rice cake," Sun Quan laughed. "Still, you always bring me back things, even now!" He took it and examined it carefully. It was an exquisitely wrought gold object, roughly shaped like an incense burner and inlaid with various precious materials, but with no discernable purpose. In fact, it was positively alien, in both design as shape. "…What is it?"

"Well, not sure. But Yu was pretty impressed for some reason. Kept on saying something like "not our methods" and "how did they cast it" and "what a mystery" and stuff… But I thought it was pretty. Yu thinks that it's from one of the foreign countries. Says that it's a sign that there are nations almost as developed as ours out there. Hah! …Dunno 'bout you, but well, I think it's just shiny."

"You unified the land, and just ran off like that to go hunt for trinkets!" Sun Quan laughed, rotating the artifact around in his calloused hands.

"Trinket? I gave you the choicest cut and you're calling it a trinket?" Sun Ce chuckled and playfully punched his brother. "Well, I'll take it back and give you a horse instead or something, if you really don't like it," he teased. "I'm sure there's _some_ merchant out there who'd give me, or, ten or so best-breed stallions for this-"

"No, no, I was only joking. I thank you very much for the gift, and welcome back home."

"It's good to be home," Sun Ce replied, hugging his brother again.

"And where is Zhou Yu? Is he taking care of business in the city?"

There was a sudden change in the air. Sun Ce's carefree joy melted right off, revealing a deeply anxious face. "Little brother, Zhou Yu is the reason I came home. He…"

A cold hand clutched Sun Quan's heart. What was wrong? Had something happened to that man, that lovely strategist so much like a brother to him? "Sun Ce…"

"He's…. Sick. Not feeling well… I don't know how to describe it. He's in the traveling wagon right now. Not well enough to ride…"

"Brother! What's wrong with him? Is it- is he in dange-"

"I can't explain it. Come on. You have to see for yourself."

Numbly, Sun Quan followed his brother to the covered cart.

"Yu?" Sun Ce called softly. "Yu?"

There was no response, but Sun Quan could hear ragged breathing coming from inside if he listened very carefully.

Sun Ce rubbed his forehead and gently pulled down the doorway latch. He spoke quietly for a while, then withdrew and silently motioned for Sun Quan to come forward.

Full of dread, Sun Quan came forward and leaned into the wagon, squinting in the darkness. As he waited for his eyes to adjust, he called out. "Zhou Yu?"

Sun Ce watched worriedly as his brother bended over into the wagon. Sun Quan stayed like that for a while, then suddenly went rigid and leapt back in shock.

"Oh. Gods. Oh gods." Sun Quan slowly collected himself and leaned on the side of the wagon. "Sun Ce. Is… Zhou Yu, is he _pregnant?'_


	2. Chapter 2

"Lord Sun?"

"Yes?"

"Yeah?"

The brothers froze for a moment before remembering themselves and laughing stiffly, still struck with worry for Zhou Yu.

"There's going to be a lot of confusion until we all get used to this," Sun Quan laughed before turning to face the doctor. "Which one of us?"

"Lord Sun and Lord Sun, both, I suppose." The head of the medical team, a robust elderly man, bowed, and his entourage followed suite. "We have attended to Lord Zhou-"

"How is he?" Sun Ce burst out.

"First of all, what has he been eating before coming here?"

Sun Ce thought for a while. "Normally whatever we catch and gather, except for when we stopped in towns. Rice, and wild plants we identify, and sometimes game meat . He didn't eat a lot without throwing up- but how is he?" he repeatedly hotly.

"Lord Zhou is doing well and fine-"

Sun Ce let out a loud whoop of relief, almost collapsing when it felt like his heart was expanding. "Thank the gods, than-"

"Lord Sun, senior?" the doctor interrupted. "What kind of game?"

"We've been in the desert and the north. The brown birds there-"

The doctor rubbed his head. "That is one source of his illness."

"What?"

"I saw in his blood that his diet was severely regrettable. When feeding more than one body, so much more is needed, and if the proper resources are not supplied, the womb saps it from the mother- uh- father, I suppose…"

Sun Ce looked surprised. "Like a tapeworm."

"Yes. And… No one in his condition should have been subjected to the conditions you two normally live in. It is too rough an environment for a pregnancy, hence his poor condition. And he told me of his suspicions. I confirmed one, that he was indeed ill. Ague and Chills. Aggravated by everything else, he lapsed into such sickness."

"It was really bad!" Sun Ce exclaimed.

"I know." The doctor gave the Sun brothers a smile. "But properly treated and under care, it will be nothing serious. Just much rest in a soft bed, medicines, supplements… And a good diet."

Sun Quan hugged his brother in relief. "I was afraid for him."

"I was too. I knew we had the best doctors!"

Sun Quan let out a chuckle. "Well, we in Wu do have a history of needing them-" He stopped. "Hello, Da Qiao."

Sun Ce felt eyes boring into his back and turned around to face the newcomer.

It was his ex-wife. She was just as beautiful as before, with her deep dark eyes and porcelain skin, albeit a bit older.

"Lord Sun, Lord Sun," she said, swinging into a curtsey.

"Da Qiao, you heard the news?" Sun Quan asked delicately.

"I have… May I have a moment alone with my husband?" she asked politely, not taking her eyes off of Sun Ce.

Sun Quan looked questioningly at Sun Ce, who shrugged and nodded. "Well," the Lord of Wu said. "I do have Zhou Yu's treatment and care to discuss with the doctors. I suppose I will meet you later, brother?"

"Yeah. Seeya!" Sun Ce called as they walked away talking about bedrest.

There was a most awkward silence.

"Haha, Da Qiao, this is a surprise! You're still here ?" Sun Ce laughed after a bit of a pause.

She looked up at him with daring eyes. "Yes."

Even when they had been technically married, Sun Ce and Da Qiao had really never had much to talk about. He vaguely remembered that he had sort of kind of forgotten all about her during the last months… No, years, of the past conflict years ago, and plus had forgotten to tell her "Oh, by the way, I'm leaving with my Number One Bro now, bye." And he had only remembered when Zhou Yu insisted that they wrote home annulling their political marriage to the Qiao sisters (after all, was Lord Qiao ever going to consider leaving his high rank and comfortable life at this point in time?) and asking that Sun Quan help find them good husbands to marry. So there, job well done, right?

"So. Uh. …So, how's it going?" he asked, trying to make small talk. His self-reassurances that he hadn't neglected and ignored her as much as he thought were not working as well as he had hoped. "…Keeping up with your… Uh… Sewing and stuff?"

"You wrote for me to marry someone else?" she asked bluntly.

Sun Ce laughed. "Oh, are you worried about that? No, I don't mind at all. I did write that, after all. A girl like you should be running around having a good time in life, not holed up like a widow all day-"

"We're married. I'm already married to you. Are you suggesting that I be unfaithful?" Da Qiao demanded.

Sun Ce froze. Oh shit. Was this chick seriously delusional? "Uh… Da Qiao… I'm not married to you. Not anymore."

"You are my husband and my lord," she insisted, putting her hands on her hips. "I married you, and that means I married _you._"

Oh no. This was getting complicated very fast. "Gee, I don't know how to say it… Other than that no you're not, and you're free to marry whoever you like."

"Then I choose you."

"No, no, you don't. And you don't want to!" Sun Ce insisted, trying to look for an escape route- what the hell, did Sun Quan seriously fix the hole in the rafters? That was the best tunnel out of here! "Besides, look, I don't _live_ here anymore. I run around the world looking for shiny things. You wouldn't like that."

"You're here now," Da Qiao repeated patiently.

Sun Ce sighed. "Okay, look. I'm here because one, I wanted to visit my family and my home, and two, Zhou Yu can't travel like this. He needs doctors and care, and later on…" He gulped. "Well, he needs to be here, so I'm here-"

"Sun Ce." Da Qiao grabbed his arm. "Sun Ce, look. You're here. We can start a family. Even if you leave, your children will stay here- our children. Sun Ce, I'm not asking for that much. I am still your wife. And… Your family. We can start a family. Together."

"I don't think you understand me, Da," he said slowly.

She looked up in confusion.

"Da Qiao… You're a pretty girl. A beautiful girl. You're nice, warm, and friendly, and fun to be around! You're smart as a whip and you're talented at so many things. Everyone loves you. You're a star, a right star. But…" Sun Ce fingered his ear. "But I don't think we're… Well, I think you'd be much better off with someone else."

Da Qiao froze, but only for a second. "Sun Ce, you need your family line continued anyways. Please-"

"Zhou Yu." Sun Ce turned his head, unable to meet her large, liquid eyes. "…It's continuing right now. With Zhou Yu."

"And not me?" Da Qiao said. "Sun Ce. He's another _man_-"

This was too much! "Uh, I'm going to go visit Zhou Yu. He's probably awake by now."

"Then I will come with you." With that declaration, Da Qiao started striding in the direction of Zhou Yu's old room.

Sun Ce inwardly groaned, but started walking alongside her. "…So. Uh. You had a cat?"

"Yes, Miao Miao. She died a year ago."

"…Oh. Well, I'm sorry."

"Yes. But she lived a long life, didn't she?"

"I suppose. And a happy one. I guess."

They lapsed into an uncomfortable silence, with Da Qiao determinedly charging forward and Sun Ce wondering what the heck was up with her anyways.

"You two, you would break my little sister's heart, wouldn't you?" Da Qiao asked suddenly.

Sun Ce pulled at his collar. "Uh… Was she.. Upset?"

"When she hears about this, what do you think?" Da Qiao asked plaintively. "Her own husband, carrying the child of…" She sighed and pulled the door, holding it open for Sun Ce. "This is… If you were a woman, how would you feel if _your_ husband suddenly…"

"Xiao Qiao's not going to take it… You know… Badly, is she?" Sun Ce asked concernedly, walking in. He really didn't want to hurt anyone, so why was everyone taking it in a hurtful way? Couldn't they understand he really didn't want to cause trouble or pain like this?

"Who wouldn't? Da Qiao asked quietly, walking in the room behind Sun Ce. "Afterall, she was- uh, is, married to Zhou Y-"

"And I get to hold it?" a voice squeaked excitedly. 

"If you want." A soft, tired, but melodious voice drifted from the bed.

"Any time I want?"

"You don't want to disturb the baby, do you? What if someone was trying to pick you up all the time, even when you're taking a nap?"

"Awww. Okay. But when it's awake, I get to hold it, right?"

"Of course."

"I'm so excited!" Xiao Qiao squealed, sending the rims of glasses vibrating.

Whatever solemn, painful scene Sun Ce and Da Qiao had imagined had nothing further from the truth.

In the sun-bathed room, Xiao Qiao sprawled next to Zhou Yu and over the blankets. She had laid her head on Zhou Yu's pregnant belly and was feeling it with a small hand. When she spotted her sister, she shrieked in delight and bounced up.

"JIE JIE! JIE JIE!" she screamed. "LOOK! ZHOU YU'S HAVING A BABY!"

"Mei mei-" Da Qiao began concernedly, but Xiao Qiao interrupted.

"He says it can like my baby brother or sister!" she continued, dancing around giddily. "Omigawd! Omigawd! I'm so excited! I really, really, really, really, really, _really_ want a baby brother or sister! Isn't this wonderful? I can't wait!"

"Xiao Qiao-"

"When's my baby brother or sister gonna come? Huh? When?"

Zhou Yu laughed. It was a tired, quiet chuckle, but it was the first time that day that the beauty had smiled. "Soon, I think. I really don't know. It'll be like a surprise." Slowly, he lifted his almond-shaped eyes up to Sun Ce. "You aren't going to at least greet me, Sun Ce?"

Sun Ce bolted forward and flung his arms around the smaller man's neck, eagerly pressing his face against Zhou Yu's. "Yu!" he exclaimed, lost for words. "Oh, Yu… …How is it? How are you doing? How are yo-"

"I'm better now. The doctor gave me some medicine and some sort of drink," he explained, motioning to a half-full pitcher on the nightstand. He wrinkled his nose but smiled. "It doesn't taste like sweet tea, but when you get it down it's certainly… Nutritious. And medicinal, if you know what I mean." He made a face, but reached up and wrapped his arms around Sun Ce. "Ce."

"I was… Worried. No. Scared," Sun Ce admitted.

"There is nothing to worry about now." Zhou Yu patted the space next to him that Xiao Qiao had evacuated.

Wordlessly, Sun Ce sat down and reached over to lean Zhou Yu on his chest. He slowly stroked the beauty's long black hair, brushing his lips against Zhou Yu's cheek.

"Sun Ce, that's how we got in this situation in the first place," Zhou Yu laughed.

"Jie jie, did you see-" Xiao Qiao began, but Da Qiao hushed her sister, and with a meaningful glance (which Sun Ce didn't catch), left the room, Xiao Qiao following behind her.

"I was talking to the doctor…" Sun Ce said slowly as the girls left.

"So you know I will be all right."

"Still."

"I just need rest. Oh. And decent food, as the doctor claims." Zhou Yu chucked again. "That's all. We should be grateful, Sun Ce. I was fearing the worst."

Sun Ce gave him a pained look. "You never told me!"

"I didn't want to worry you if there was nothing to be done." Zhou Yu stroked the growing mound thoughtfully, tilting his head to look at Sun Ce.

"Stuff like what, anyways?"

"The things that happen to pregnant women. Red fever. Septic shock. Infection. The fact that perhaps my body just wasn't meant to handle this… Anyways, trifles. Do not worry too much, Sun Ce!"

"First time you ever said that. Usually it's the opposite."

Zhou Yu laughed again, and Sun Ce felt his mood lifting. It did much good to see Zhou Yu finally comfortable, safe, and cheerful. "Besides, isn't it nice to be home?"

Sun Ce looked around. Zhou Yu's room was exactly as they had left it. Some of the fine red and gold furnishings were a bit dusty, but obviously a quick cleaning had been done beforehand. The upholstered chairs and carved desk were as if taken from a snapshot from Sun Ce's memory, and even the sunlight flowing through the large windows was the same. He felt a sudden surge of warm, syrupy nostalgia.

"It's just like when we were kids," Sun Ce said quietly, resting his eyes softly back on Zhou Yu.

Even in such a weakened state, Zhou Yu was achingly beautiful. His eyelashes cast shadows over his pale cheeks as he closed his eyes for a moment. He raised a hand, still slightly sunburned from their sojourn in the desert, and placed it on his swollen abdomen. "Yes. It is, isn't it?" he agreed. "Just like old days."

"Do you ever miss those days?"

"Like you, I do sometimes. But more often than that, I am glad that we are free. Together. Us and the world, don't you think?"

Often, their path took them far away from civilization, far away from any human contact other than each other. Sun Ce thought that _willingly_ being with and depending on each other so much formed a rather special connection between them. After all, even most lovers would go crazy and eat each other after a while, instead of spending their life together in such a way… Although sometimes, he admitted honestly, that did happen, what with the rare shouting matches that they forgot about the next day.

In truth, what more could he ask for? He had the world open to prying open and exploring, and his best friend in all that world-

"Sun Ce?" Zhou Yu asked impatiently.

"Uh. Sorry. Yes?"

Zhou Yu smiled. "Absent-minded. As usual. Anyways, I was asking how you were feeling. …Is this… Odd to you?" he asked, running a hand over his stomach.

"Weird as heck, yeah. But… It's with you, isn't it?" Sun Ce asked, grinning.

Zhou Yu rolled his eyes but laughed. "Of course."

They sat in comfortable silence for a while.

"Sun Ce, remember when-" Zhou Yu suddenly shivered, cold sweat sprouting on his temples. "Oh! It's suddenly cold again," he said softly, drawing up the blankets around him and shivering.

Worriedly, Sun Ce put his body over Zhou Yu, rubbing his friend's clammy hands and blowing on them. "Chills again?"

Zhou Yu shivered for a while before finally sighing. "Yes. The doctor said that they will pass with the ague."

Sun Ce held up the pitcher on the nightstand and poured a glass of the liquid. It was a brownish-green color, clear while speckled with much sediment. "Here. Maybe it'll help."

Zhou Yu took the glass and swallowed it thirstily. "Thank you," he said, gasping for air.

Sun Ce started to wipe the sweat off of Zhou Yu's face when there was a knock on the door.

"Zhou Yu? Big Brother?" Sun Quan called, his voice muffled by the heavy door. "Can we come in?"

Zhou Yu tiredly nodded assent, so Sun Ce shouted, "Come on in!"

Sun Quan and the same medical team filed in, but with a new addition: a short dumpy woman with a hair on a mole on her brow.

"Zhou Yu, how are you feeling?" Sun Quan asked.

"Much better," Zhou Yu said, smiling slightly. "Thank you."

"Doctor Hao wants to ask you a few questions and explain what we have to do," Sun Quan explained. "Are you too tired?"

"No better time than now," Zhou Yu said crisply, touching Sun Ce's hand.

The doctor, now named as Doctor Hao, began to speak.

"Well, let us first start with asking how this all began?"


	3. Chapter 3

Zhou Yu tilted his head at the doctor's question. "We deal with a lot of old artifacts and curses on a daily basis. When I first became… Sick," he said, touching his stomach, "We did consult with several Taoists, including the elder Plum Deer. The farthest we came to an explanation was 'old magic,' which, I am afraid is really not that helpful." He shifted around in an attempt to get more comfortable, but sighed. "Perhaps I triggered a trap, or perhaps I handled an object I shouldn't have."

"Oh, can you describe the places you have been? This really would be important for mapping out perhaps tombs or-"

"Shouldn't we be concentrating on Yu?" Sun Ce asked angrily. "Look, all this might be interesting and all, but what I want to know is what we can do now!"

Sun Quan nodded in agreement. "Doctor, perhaps we could discuss all this… Research and quest for knowledge later. Our Lord Strategist comes first."

The doctor smiled ruefully. "I beg your forgiveness… Lord Zhou, may we see your… Condition?"

Zhou Yu complied, opening his robe and pulling it open. Sitting almost upright, his pregnant stomach rose up to almost obscure his chest and overflowed his body to the point of bulging out over his sides. Livid red lines stretched up alongside battle scars. He tilted his head and smiled apologetically.

"Goodness, you're huge," Sun Quan commented, surprised.

"You do say?" Zhou Yu asked tiredly.

"Oh, sorry. That was insensitive of me."

"I am afraid he is not in very good condition," Doctor Hao said sternly, leaning in to examine Zhou Yu's torso. He picked up one of the strategist's wrists and examined it, not for the pulse but for the skin and the boniness. "Yes. First of all, he is ill- clearly that is a factor. But stress, a bad diet, dehydration, and general bad care and conditions, as I stated before, are most to blame-"

"Are you saying I _neglect_ my man?" Sun Ce demanded. "Or that we can't take care of ourselves-"

Zhou Yu cut him off with a smile and a slight wave. "No, I understand. Go on, Doctor."

Doctor Hao coughed nervously. High-rank people, especially one so prominent as Sun Ce, were among the top of the occupational hazard list for such private doctors. "No, no, I was not implying anything of the sort. I was just commenting-"

"No need to apologize, Doctor. Please go on," Zhou Yu said, only a slight flutter of his eyelashes betraying any impatience and discomfort. He felt lethargic and listless and a lot less polite than usual. Appearing okay in front of Xiao Qiao had already been too much of a strain, and he was eager to get some rest and finally lie down. With his hard belly in the way, sitting upright really was not the best of positions.

"Excuse me. Anyways, the number one things are rest and nutrition." He looked ruefully at Zhou Yu. "My lord, please just make yourself as comfortable and relaxed as possible… I understand that may be difficult considering the circumstances and physical limitations, but do try. As for food, we have tested and compiled a list of nutrients he is lacking. Do eat, but do not force yourself," he added. "Nausea and loss of appetite are expected-"

"As I realized," Zhou Yu muttered.

"-and you should recover from the ague normally," Doctor Hao finished. "We will have all instructions and details written down by tonight, for future reference."

"Thank you," Zhou Yu said in a rushed sort of tone. He really didn't feel like being quiet and polite anymore.

Thankfully, Sun Ce caught on his mood before he really had to be very un-Zhou Yu-like. "Hey, hey, thanks Doc, thanks Quan, but Yu looks ready to keel over!"

"Oh, yes, you should rest," Sun Quan quickly said. The Lord of Wu walked over and put a hand on Zhou Yu's knee, as if a little brother. "Are you all right?"

"Carrying a child is not the most comfortable thing," Zhou Yu said ruefully. "But I thank you for everything."

"If it wasn't for you I don't know where we would be," Sun Quan said quietly, so that only he could hear. "I wish you two would come back more often."

"I am sorry."

"Don't worry." Sun Quan stood back and smiled. "Get some rest, won't you?" he asked as the doctors took their cue to exit the room.

"Thank you."

"You'll be all righ-"

"Hey, hey, don't worry, I'll be here," Sun Ce declared.

"I'll be around if anything happens," Sun Quan promised, exiting the closing the door behind him.

Silence settled into the room, interrupted only by the crinkle of sheets.

How long had it been since he had slept in a proper bed? Not the cheap inn room stuff, but the real thing he had been so used to his entire life? The soft cotton felt so heavenly under his cheek, and the softness of the bed was unimaginable.

If only he wasn't so dirty and grimy… …And pregnant.

Too tired to worry more about that, Zhou Yu wiggled into a less uncomfortable position and turned his head. "Sun Ce?"

"Yeah?"

"What are you doing?"

"Nothing. Just sitting here. Don't worry, I'm not going anywhere!"

Zhou Yu pulled a corner of the blanket down. "Then come lie with me."

"Really? 'Course!" Sun Ce crowed. There was a rustling of cloth and two thumps as armor fell to the ground. He quickly slid into bed and wrapped his arms around the smaller man.

Ah. Just about as close to perfect as this could get. Feeling rather content and very tired, Zhou Yu snuggled closer to Sun Ce and tumbled into sleep.

Sun Ce closed his eyes and felt with his hands. There was the same soft hair, the slight bulge of eyes under their lids, the smooth planes of his nose, and softness of his neck. With his other hand, Sun Ce felt his friend's growing mound. It was much harder and firmer than he had expected.

Zhou Yu stirred lightly, and Sun Ce quickly stopped moving his hands until he slept fully again. He stayed awake as the sun drifted through the sky and its light reddened in the windows.


	4. Chapter 4

"I hadn't known you to be such a nurse, brother," Sun Quan laughed.

"Because normally I'm the one who always forgot to lookout for ambush and ended up _being_ nursed," Sun Ce laughed. He filled a cup with more of the medicinal broth and brought it to Zhou Yu's lips again. "Yu, drink up!"

"You just like babying me!" Zhou Yu scolded, patting at Sun Ce's cheeks and taking the cup in his own hands. "I think I am strong enough to hold my own cup, don't you think?" Despite his words, he smiled and hugged Sun Ce around the waist.

Just two weeks of rest had done wonders for Zhou Yu. With days of rest in his comfortable bed, the dissipating of the fever, and the right foods he needed, he was nearly back up to condition. And with health, his usual looks began to shine again. It did do him quite a bit of good to look in the mirror and preen, one of his secret guilty pleasures. Cleaned up, groomed, and dressed in a simple, loose robe, he was quite a sight away from when he had first arrived. Most of all, the relief and reassurance that everything would be all right had really taken off most of the psychological strain. In fact, Zhou Yu found that he was actually rather excited, something that he would have never dreamt of just two weeks ago.

And the Little Conqueror was quite proud of his handiwork. He had single-handedly taken over almost everything about the sick man's care, feeding him, bathing him, administering medicine, and basically attending to all his needs twenty four hours a day. But as grand as it sounded, he figured that it was just returning the favor for all the times Zhou Yu had taken care of _him._

Sun Ce reached down and rubbed Zhou Yu's belly. It had grown even larger and rounder, already threatening to dwarf its owner. He rubbed a bit harder, eliciting a low purr from the beauty's throat.

"That feels good."

"I know," Sun Ce laughed, continuing to rub. He stopped abruptly when a small protrusion jabbed his palm and disappeared just as quickly as it had come.

"You felt that?" Zhou Yu asked lightly, half-closing his eyes and staring out at the garden.

"Whoa."

"I felt that too." A butterfly swayed past, dropping onto a primrose and waving its wings.

"Huh? What happened?" Sun Quan asked, looking up from his papers.

Sun Ce whistled in amazement. "I was rubbing Yu's belly and I felt the baby kick!"

His younger brother laughed. "Again? Well, looks like you'll be having quite a handful with this one. Before she passed on, Mother told me once that _you_ never stayed still, even before being born. I'm sorry you have to put up with it, Zhou Yu."

Zhou Yu laughed, fluttering his eyelids in the sunlight. "Why are you apologizing instead of Ce?" he joked.

"Hey, hey, don't just shove the blame on-"

There was a shadow in the garden. Sun Ce quickly stood up before recognizing the new figure and sitting back down. "Well, well, if it isn't Zhou Tai!"

Zhou Yu had not seen Quan's silent bodyguard since returning to Wu. But he had been bedridden in his room for the whole time, so he supposed it was an excuse.

Zhou Tai looked exactly the same as they had left him. His scratched black armor and his ragged cloak were the same ones he had worn since entering service, and aside from a few new scars, his dusky face was just the same as always.

"Good afternoon, my lords," Zhou Tai rumbled politely, and melted to the shadows behind Sun Quan.

"Tai, why don't stand out here with us?" Sun Quan coaxed.

He melted out of the shadows again and silently came to stand next to his lord.

Sun Quan stood up and leaned to him. "Have a drink," he said quietly. "Are you tired? Sit with me."

Unwilling to obey a direct command, Zhou Tai complied.

"He hasn't changed one bit, has he?" Sun Ce whispered, rolling his eyes. "Bet he needs an official invitation to take a piss. If I were him I'd be doing my brother already- wait, that really came out wrong, didn't it?"

Zhou Yu burst out laughing, accidentally spitting out his drink. "Excuse me!"

"What are you two grinning about?" Sun Quan asked, looking up from his papers.

"Nothing," Zhou Yu said quickly. "Sun Ce was just saying how nothing has changed since we left. That is all."

Sun Quan laughed. "No, no. There you are mistaken. Remember before, when we had so many people in charge of so many things, and you had to run from one person to another just to get things done?" The younger man smiled proudly. "It took the years you were gone, we're still really reorganizing. It's gotten better, though."

"Lu Xun came to visit the other day, and he told me about it," Zhou Yu said. "He has great dreams for this new structure! I do think well of it."

"It is quite a change," Sun Quan said. "We are turning the structure around, you see."

"Yes, but not a flipping-over, I wouldn't think… It still carries a distinct decentralization," Zhou Yu asserted. "It may be as an umbrella with you at the top, but at the most local, practical levels, it is still decentralized."

"Perhaps you are right," Sun Quan said, turning his face away. "But still, restructuring the entire bureau system is quite a change from-"

"Oh come on guys, can't we talk about something else?" Sun Ce said, yawning dramatically.

Sun Quan and Zhou Yu broke into chuckles at his outburst.

"Perhaps it was best I am in charge," Sun Quan said lightly. "After the battles are fought and the enemies are vanquished, then what? You are the Little Conquerer, not the Little Bureaucrat."

"That's you," Sun Ce shot back.

"No, I am the Little Manager now," Sun Quan argued. "But yes, these matters have never interested you! I can't imagine you sitting around doing what I do, running the country through seals and papers…"

"I had this discussion with your sister before, about how you would be as the organizer and ruler-"

"Nah, I always knew I wasn't cut out for it the same way Quan was, right, brother?" Sun Ce snorted. "Besides, this way I get to ride around the big open world with my Number One, right, Zhou Yu?" he shot back, grabbing Zhou Yu's torso from behind.

"Sun Ce, don't touch me there-" Too late. Zhou Yu sighed and rubbed his head as Sun Ce froze, his hand over the smaller man's pectorals.

"Oh. Uh, sorry, Yu. Gee. I don't know what to say."

"Me neither."

"…Uh, so can you stop it?"

"No, I can't."

Sun Quan looked over, puzzled. "What's going on? What are you doing?"

"I am lactating," Zhou Yu said pointedly. "Please, can someone pass me a cloth?"

"What? Oh- well-" Sun Quan said, flushing and passing over a handkerchief. "Oh, well… This is awkward…" he commented, looking distinctly uncomfortable.

Zhou Yu nearly twitched his lip- if the other men were so uncomfortable with this, how did the man actually producing milk feel? "Excuse me."

"Don't worry about it. Uh, just… Tell me when it stops…"

"Sorry, Yu."

Zhou Yu bit back a whimper at the sudden ache but continued dabbing at the liquid dribbling down his chest. "How is everyone, by the way? I am sorry I have not been able to meet with everyone yet…"

"It is understandable- as soon as you feel better, I should call in everyone. Wouldn't that be fun?"

Both looked up in delight.

"I'll take that as a yes," Sun Quan laughed, smoothing out his papers. "We haven't all gotten together for a long time…"

"Where is everyone now?" Sun Ce asked.

Sun Quan thought for a moment, building up the list in his head. "Ling Tong is stationed a bit further west. There's a bit of unrest from the barbarians there. Taishi Ci is in the north, near Luoyang. Jiang Qin moves around on the rivers. Yu Fan's in the northeast. Huang Gai's only a bit northeast of here. Lu Xun is here in the capital with us, as you saw. Lu Fan, he was asking after you for a while-"

"Yeah, where's that old boy?" Sun Ce chuckled. "We visited him before setting off to the desert-"

"You visit your friend but not your brother?" Sun Quan snorted.

"Hey, hey, he's like my bro too," Sun Ce shot back.

"Fine, fine. Anyways, Cheng Pu's normally here but he's temporarily supervising at Hefei right now." Sun Quan continued to list of old friends and their current locations and careers.

It was a while before he finished, especially because of interruptions and laughter from both Zhou Yu and Sun Ce. "-And Liu Wang, he died last-last year," Sun Quan added sadly.

"…Oh. I'm sorry."

"Yes. We lost a good man, but he had a very long life- ninety-eight years old, I believe."

"What of his brother Fan?"

"Oh, Liu Fan retired. He is living on the coast right now, but we still occasionally ask him for his opinion on anything."

Sun Ce nodded. "It would be great to see everyone again. But they're all busy and everything…"

"I'll just ask whoever's free to come on down. They will be glad to see the Little Conqueror and Zhou the Beautiful again, wouldn't they?"

Zhou Yu laughed at his old nickname. "I'm afraid I'm not much to that title right now, from the chest down."

"C'mon Yu, never heard of maternal glow?" Sun Ce laughed, ruffling his friend's hair.

"Come on, Ce, haven't you heard of morbidly fat?" Zhou Yu snorted.

Sun Quan laughed. "You aren't fat. You're just really pregnant."

"Does that make a difference? When is the last time you have ever been attracted to a _pregnant_ woman-"

"I think you're still as beautiful," Sun Quan asserted, gripping his brush. "You really are still the most-"

"_I'm_ supposed to say that!" Sun Ce cried. "Zhou Yu, you hear? I think you're still the most beautiful person in China!"

"Thank you, both of you," Zhou Yu said, slightly surprised. "Bu-"

"Well, he _is_ bearing your child, so it would be just ungrateful of you to think otherwise!" Sun Quan snorted.

"Well, I don't!" Sun Ce shot back. "It's going to take _more _than bein' pregnant to make my man any less than the most-"

"Well, what's wrong if I said it first?"

"Oh, settle down, Sun and Sun," Zhou Yu chuckled. "Anyways, you both flatter me. Thank you."

"No problem, but just so you know I was going to wait for you to finish your sentence before Quan interrupted!"

"Ce!" Sun Quan groaned.

"Just sayin!"

"Well, why does it matter?"

The familiar sounds of family life, ie siblings tearing each other's face off for no understandable reason, settled into the garden. Watching the brothers argue, he started to wonder about what the child would be like. Zhou Yu yawned and, feeling oddly warm and cheerful and with his hands clasped protectively over his stomach, he gently napped in the afternoon.

* * *

Parts of this serve as pilot chapters/ideas/etc for _Nine Months._ Seeing what works and what doesn't. Of course, with Gan Ning and Ling Tong involved, _Nine Months_ is probably a lot less smushy-sweet and a whole lot snarkier. I (personally, because I can't speak for all of us) like to think that they are both sweet, but in different ways. (That's one thing. Does everyone working on it have the same idea in mind? Certainly hope so.) Although it's a totally different type of story, some concepts still apply.


	5. Chapter 5

"Quit that!" Zhou Yu snapped. "No, no, no, _stop it_!"

Sun Ce woke with a start. "Huh?" he snorted, learning over Zhou Yu's body. In the darkness, everything was a monochrome dusty gray-blue. The moon was already low in the sky, barely illuminating the edges of Zhou Yu's bedroom around them. Soon, the sun would start show through the cold morning mists. He looked over to Zhou Yu, only to see the beauty's face scrunched up in annoyance and frustration. "Quit what? What's wrong?"

"There is a bag of rabbits inside of me," Zhou Yu moaned, rising up into a kneeling position and clutching his bare stomach.

Sun Ce peered over. "Wow!"

"No, not wow," Zhou Yu groaned, tossing his head and gritting his teeth. The moonlight shone off of his skin, highlighting the undulations and sharp points rising and falling all over his belly, indeed like a bag of panicking rabbits. Here and there, a large bump (the head, perhaps?) and smaller, taller peaks he assumed were its limbs or joints cascaded and flowed all over, constantly in motion. With Zhou Yu's skin already stretched taut, the movements looked rather like a many-limbed animal struggling and spinning.

Sun Ce gently put a hand on the heaving abdomen in wonder. "Whoa, it's crazy! Does it hurt?"

Zhou Yu shrugged and sat back. "It aches only a little, but no worse than the everyday strain. It's mostly uncomfortable and just woke me up," he said with a yawn.

"Awww, Yu!" Sun Ce chuckled, leaning over more to nibble at Zhou Yu's lower lip. "Don't worry, we're both awake now. …Or all three of us, if you know what I mean." With a laugh, he lowered his ear onto Zhou Yu's bulging belly, only to be kicked hard. "Ouch!"

Zhou Yu burst out laughing and petted his stomach fondly. "Oh, Ce!"

Sun Ce chuckled and put his head down again. "I can't hear anything but your heartbeat and thumping- oh, was that it?"

"Probably."

"HEYYYY you in there!" Sun Ce shouted, shaping his hands into a funnel around his mouth and putting it on where he last saw the baby kick.

Zhou Yu kept laughing. "Ce, do you seriously think it can hear you?"

"Worth a shot. Hey, I think it heard me…" He imitated a high-pitched voice. "Yu, it says 'Tell Mommy to not feel self-conscious about me because he knows he's gorgeous anyways-' ouch!" Sun Ce rubbed his head where Zhou Yu flicked him.

"You're silly, Ce."

"Thanks, man."

Zhou Yu leaned his head on Sun Ce's shoulder and waited for the baby to settle down again. When it finally did, he spoke again.

"Sun Ce?"

"Mmm, yes?"

"What are we going to do with the baby?"

There was a silence.

"Sun Ce?"

"I was thinking we could keep it and just take it along with us," Sun Ce said sheepishly, suddenly aware of how foolish it sounded. "I mean… What else? We're responsible for it, after all…"

Zhou Yu sighed. "Do you honestly like that that is any way to raise a child? Or how much trouble a child is?"

"I thought it could work," he shot back defensively.

With a sigh Zhou Yu shook his head. "We would be raising it like a bandit orphan. The road is a tough place. There is no guarantee we can always find food suitable for very young children. And if we have to fend off an attack, how would that be with a baby to worry about? It is too dangerous for a child. One, bandits. Two, sickness. Three, accidents like falls. Four, the cold and the heat. Five… You get the idea, Ce. And what about when it needs to start its schooling?"

Sun Ce turned his head, sulking slightly. "Look, while you're shootin' me down, you got any better ideas?"

"Sorry." He touched Sun Ce's cheek softly. "I didn't meant to be so condescending…"

"But do you have any better ideas?" the Little Conqueror asked despairingly.

"You have always asked me that question, haven't you?" Zhou Yu asked, smiling slightly. "Always. You yell out a course of action right off your head, and when I point out everything horribly wrong with it, don't you always ask that?"

Sun Ce looked at him in surprise. "I guess!"

Zhou Yu yawned. "Well, I _am_ your strategist. Isn't that my job, after all?"

"So you do?"

"I always do. I always have everything planned in advance. Let's go back to sleep, Sun Ce. We'll talk to your brother tomorrow morning."

* * *

"For us to raise the baby, here in Wu? I thought that that was what you were planning to do the whole time!" Sun Quan said in surprise.

"I dunno, Yu was the one doing the planning," Sun Ce snorted. "I'm not much of a planner…"

"I had thought to do so ever since I found out. But I wanted to ask you of course." Zhou Yu shifted again in his chair and put a hand on his stomach.

"Oh, well, in that case, yes, of course we will care for the child here. It would be just stupid to care for a baby on road, don't you think?" Sun Quan chuckled. "No one's enough of an idiot to even consider that."

"Nnn…" muttered Sun Ce as Zhou Yu stifled a laugh.

"Anyways, so, the care of the child? Is there someone you have in mind to be in charge?" Sun Quan asked hopefully.

"Not Da Qiao… She's going to ask. I know she's gonna. But Brother, no matter how she asks, promise me you won't give the baby to Da Qiao," Sun Ce said abruptly.

Sun Quan looked up in surprise. "…I was about to suggest that. Are you sure? Sun Ce, I believe that to be the best choice of action! Why? I'm sure she would be delighted, as your wife…. And you know how she's always wanted children…"

"Because I might not know her all that great, but I can tell you guys right here right now that if we do, she's going to be all delusional again and everything!" Sun Ce shouted.

"Well, perhaps just give her the illusion," Zhou Yu said softly. Despite his words, his slender fingers wrapped around Sun Ce's upper arm possessively. "If it keeps her happy, and if it grants her dream, why not?"

"Because I _want_ her to have her dream, and raising one kid all alone without a husband sure isn't it," Sun Ce replied. "Look. She's stuck on me. She just won't let me go! I don't know how many times I've told her to just go be happy with another man! She's just clinging onto me, but I can't give her what she wants."

"What does she want?" Sun Quan asked uncomfortably. "If it's children, then you can just-"

"Yes, she wants a kid- but not one. I've heard her talk. She wants a huge family like she had before coming to Wu. That girl's got damn eight siblings, and hell if I'm going to have sex with her that many times!"

"Sun Ce!" Zhou Yu scolded.

"Sorry. Anyways, don't you get it? She just wants to belong, to belong with someone, I guess. Yeah, that's it. I'm not a psychic but I think she just wants love?"

"She can have the pick of any of the nobility around here!" Sun Quan exclaimed. "That can't be it-"

"She wants her own," Sun Ce. It was slowly dawning on him that perhaps he and that girl had a lot more in common than he had thought. "She wants to belong to someone and have that someone belong to her! She wants to wake up everyday and- uh- …Well, look. Like… Like me and Yu. And you and Zhou Tai-"

"Me and Zhou Tai- brother, what are you-"

"Come on! I'm the one who introduced you guys," Sun Ce laughed. "Do you remember how scared you were of him at first?"

"I was young and he was very intimidating- but that is besides the point, what do you mean me and Zhou Tai?" Sun Quan demanded.

"I mean that you two… Well, let's put it this way. Remember Gan Ning and Ling Tong a while back? After Tong stopped trying to kill Ning? Weren't you surprised when bam! One day, all of a sudden they're a couple?"

Sun Quan thought for a moment. "I remember. Well, yes I was surprised, but not surprised, as if it was something I was just watching and waiting to happen, but I was still shocked-"

Sun Ce tilted his head. "Lemme say what you mean. Well, _I_ was surprised too. Because I never would have suspected it, but once I started thinking about it, I went 'Oh!' Once all the pieces are together, it just pops out, and the only shocking thing is that none of us saw it sooner! It's like one of those funny little game things where you stare at a bunch of dots and you can't see anything at first, but once you see it everything's so obvious and you wonder why the hell you couldn't see it in the first place- …Uh yeah, Gan Ning and Ling Tong. So yeah, you and Tai?" Sun Ce snapped with his fingers. "Just like them."

Zhou Yu laughed lightly and tilted his head to Sun Quan. "I cannot disagree. …Quan, is there something wrong?"

Sun Ce glanced over in surprise.

His younger brother was looking darkly at the space in front of him. "Gan Ning and Ling Tong are friends, equals, and rivals. Whatever they do, it will be from themselves to each other, pure in the sense that it comes from the heart, not an obligation. Zhou Tai and I are guard and lord. Everything he does will be his duty. Just that."

Zhou Yu and Sun Ce exchanged looks of concern.

"It doesn't matter. There's no need to complicate things."

"Awww, Quan, c'mon-" Sun Ce stopped when Zhou Yu put a hand on his shoulder.

"Don't push him," Zhou Yu whispered.

Sun Ce sighed but abated. "Well yeah. Anyways. Uh. Yeah. Da Qiao is not getting the baby, for her own good."

Zhou Yu looked dubious, but Sun Quan nodded. "All right. You seem to know what you are talking about… But then who?"

Sun Ce looked at his younger brother expectantly.

Sun Quan looked back, confused.

Zhou Yu looked up, puzzled.

It was a few moments before comprehension dawned on Sun Quan. "Me?"

"Yes, you, I mean, you're the one I'd trust, I mean, if you don't mind, 'cause don't worry, we can always find-"

"No, no, it's not that- I would be very happy to be your child's guardian!"

Sun Ce smiled in glee. "That okay with you, Yu?"

"We would be honored," Zhou Yu said politely, but then smiled less formally. "Even if the child turns out to be as bad as his father?" he asked, playfully poking Sun Ce.

"Oh, the things we'll do for family," Sun Quan laughed.

* * *

"I still don't get it."

Zhou Yu leaned back on his cushion and looked up from his desk.

It was an unusual desk, possibly the only one of its kind. A palace craftsman had recalled making a desk for the late Lady Wu while she had been pregnant, so that she could continue her work and daily business. After the birth of the lady's last child, it had been commandeered as a display for artistic tea sets. It did not take long to clear out the glazed sets and put it back to its original use- this time for the second generation.

"That is because you never studied the basics of structure. This is the advanced theory for government," Zhou Yu explained. "_Advanced._"

"Well, I should still be able to get it, I mean, I normally get things if you explain them to me…" Sun Ce insisted.

"That's because I just realized I'd need to teach you from the middle," Zhou Yu said fondly, cuffing Sun Ce's cheek before pulling his friend's face down next to his own. "But since when has this interested you? Last time you threw my notes out of the window!"

"That was because they were keeping you away from me!" Sun Ce exclaimed. "Seriously, I got a boat to go fishing, I stole Sun Shangxiang's best fishing rod for you, and I even…" His voice trailed off when Sun Ce realized that Zhou Yu was smiling and laughing. "What?"

"That might have been the sweetest and stupidest thing I have ever heard." Zhou Yu pressed his face against Sun Ce's, still smiling. "Really, you-"

"_Sun Ce._"

Uh-oh. He knew that voice and the person it belonged to, and chances were that that person was very much unhappy with something.

"Hey, hey, Da Qiao?" he called in what he hoped was a winning, charming voice.

Apparently it wasn't. Da Qiao stood with her hands on her hips, her eyes seething and burning. Xiao Qiao frolicked about behind her, messing around with doll clothes in a bag. "So I heard."

…What? "Uh, heard what?" Sun Ce asked, protectively shifting to move in front of Zhou Yu.

"You told Sun Quan to _not_ give me the baby?"

"Oh, haha!" Sun Ce said, sweating at the temples. "So you heard!"

"So, I heard? Yes, I heard. Sun Ce, why did you specifically tell your brother to refuse to give the baby to me?" Da Qiao demanded, her eyes burning with hurt and rage. "I am your wife-"

Sun Ce's eyes flickered to Zhou Yu for help, but the beauty only blinked his almond-shaped eyes helplessly.

"Your _wife!"_ Da Qiao shrieked, her glare shooting out at Zhou Yu.

"Okay, okay, okay!" Sun Ce shouted, clenching his fists. "Da Qiao, I really don't want to hurt you, but… I like you a lot, but as a friend. _Only_ a friend. Look, I married you all right, but that was because we needed your family's support. I'm sorry, okay? I'm sorry! There! Happy? Now look-"

"At least give me my baby!" Da Qiao snarled, flicking her fan open with a quick, threatening motion, her gaze going past Sun Ce to Zhou Yu's swollen belly.

"It's not your baby!" Sun Ce exclaimed in exasperation. "Da Qiao, come this way really quick? Let's talk privately," he pleaded. Having Zhou Yu in the room was really setting that girl off. Maybe she would be more reasonable alone?

"Sun Ce, don't you try-"

"After you," Sun Ce said firmly, holding the door open for her and maneuvering so that he was between his ex-wife and Zhou Yu at all times.

Da Qiao glowered but obeyed.

Once they had reached the next, smaller, room, Da Qiao burst.

"Sun Ce, you don't understand! This is the only way I'll ever- this is my once chance…" Da Qiao began, stumbling over her words in a rush. "I will not bother you anymore, if you just give me the baby…."

"No." Sun Ce stared down at her resolutely. He leaned back against the carved wooden panels and crossed his arms firmly. "It's time for you to move on. You have your own dreams, Da Qiao."

"And this is part of it-"

"No, it's not. This is for your own good."

"No! What do you understand about me? What?" Da Qiao demanded.

Sun Ce grabbed his face in his hands. "Enough to know that you need to effin' move on already! You're wasting your life!" Sun Ce looked around wildly for a way out. "Look, Da, you really need to-"

"Oh, oh, oh, family argument?" sighed a voice. The door slide open and the incoming light silhouetted a tall, slim form. "Well, I am sorry to interrupt, but just tell me if you're still busy, and I'll just go off and take a nap somewhere…"

"LING TONG let me show you to the men's bathroom!" Sun Ce shouted, whirling on his foot and grabbing Ling Tong's arm.

"Sun Ce, don't you dare-" Da Qiao began.

"What the? Sun Ce, I don't need to go to the bathroom-" Ling Tong snorted in surprise.

"Just in case. I'll show you where it is again," Sun Ce insisted with a desperate look as Da Qiao loomed closer.

"…Kay, kay, man," Ling Tong sighed. "Fine, show me where the bathroom is."

"The _men's_ bathroom," Sun Ce shouted at Da Qiao before practically dragging Ling Tong off.

* * *

Zhou Yu felt his stress easing and his brain perhaps melting as he listened to Xiao Qiao's incessant chatter about the baby.

Currently the subject was "Oh My, How Should We, Oh My, Omigawd, Dress The Baby, Omigawd, Up!"

"Oh, Ban-Bi doll clothes?" Zhou Yu asked, puzzled. "Well, I don't think the baby will fit-"

"Psh, they're not Ban-Bi dolls," Xiao Qiao explained as if to a slow-learning amateur. "They're Meiren Mei dolls. Ban-Bi is _so_ for babies."

Zhou Yu, who had never cared much for dolls aside from how far Sun Ce could throw one, nodded mutely and rested his hands on his burgeoning midsection. Despite all its inconveniences, being pregnant did mean that he had his own armrest whenever he sat down. "So I see."

"Uncle Huang said that he's gonna-gonna get me new clothes for my doll, but I bet they'd fit the baby! I mean if it's a girl. But if it's a boy we can dress it up as a girl anyways, right?" Xiao Qiao continued, waving around a newly-sewn dress.

Zhou Yu, seeing no point in arguing as she would probably forget in the next fifteen seconds, shut up.

"I'm soooooo excited!" Xiao Qiao finished, screaming and throwing the doll clothes into the air in her exhilaration. "Oh, oopsies! I'll pick them up!"

The door slid open. It thudded delicately and quietly, yet carried the same tone as if it had been slammed back and demolished with a sledgehammer.

"Good afternoon, Da Qiao," Zhou Yu said, not looking up from his paper. He could feel a furious gaze that made the hairs on the back of his neck prickle.

Why was that woman just so hostile towards him now? They had gotten along decently before, although her sister was much friendlier towards him. But why was she just so harsh now, as if he was the cause of her problems- oh.

"Da Qiao, if you fault me for Sun Ce, I will offer that it is unproductive to take it out of me," he said firmly. "I have sympathy for you, Lady Qiao, but I believe that Sun Ce is correct in that you should move on. You are wasting your life pining after-"

"Wasting my life? _Wasting my life?_ What do you know about my life?" Da Qiao demanded.

The vitrol dripping off of her tongue startled Zhou Yu. He was so used to the sweet, demure, polite Da Qiao that perhaps it had not occurred to him that she could get angry. "Da Qiao, truly, I am sorry that this perhaps did not turn out the way you want, but-"

"Jie jie jie jie jie jie look!" Xiao Qiao squealed.

"Be quiet!" Da Qiao snapped.

Xiao Qiao stopped abruptly, dropping the doll dress. "…Jie-"

"Oh, I'm sorry!" Da Qiao gasped, bending down to fling her arms around her sister. "Hush, hush, your big sister is sorry! I did not mean it, I am sorry, that is a lovely dress…"

Zhou Yu looked away and blocked his ears from the private moment, but he couldn't ignore what Da Qiao said a few minutes later.

"I'm just trying to get us back to our marriages."

"With Sun Ce and Zhou Yu?" Xiao Qiao asked quizzically.

"Yes. See?"

"But I don't really want to marry Zhou Yu…" Xiao Qiao explained, as if afraid of offending her sister.

Da Qiao froze.

"Well, Sun Ce and Zhou Yu are a really cute couple," Xiao Qiao insisted. "They're already married to each other. Besides I want to marry a big strong man like their daddy!"

Da Qiao frowned. "Mei mei…"

"Aren't Ce and Yu _so_ pretty together? I think they're the best couple ever," Xiao Qiao continued, her mind racing off again.

Zhou Yu nearly flinched when Da Qiao stood with ice in her eyes.

He saw the blow before it even came. His life as a warrior and now hunter had put him against much worse and much deadlier blows than a simple girl with a large fan.

Instinctively, he moved to block it, but for expected reasons, he fell over to one side, exposing his stomach.

_Smack._ The blow fell against the side of his pregnant belly, sounding like a whipcrack in the room.

Zhou Yu sighed and rubbed his head. Da Qiao wasn't a particularly strong girl, and although the wooden end of the fan was a weapon and sure to leave an ugly welt and bruise the next day, what hurt the most was where he had accidentally banged his elbow into the corner of the table. Nothing worrying. With a groan, he grabbed onto the ledge of the desk and hauled himself back upright. "Da Qiao, do not do that-"

But Da Qiao had already paled and dropped her fan. "Oh! Zhou Yu- Lord Zhou- I do not know what's gotten into me- no- I didn't mean to- I'm so sorry- please forgive- are you all right?"

"I am fine," Zhou Yu assured her.

"Zhou Yu, I am _so_ sorry-" Da Qiao continued before she was interrupted.

A furious roar, like a tiger's, thundered out from the doorway.

Standing in the doorway, and having seen Da Qiao strike Zhou Yu, was Sun Ce.


	6. Chapter 6

Sun Ce's terrible roar had shocked Da Qiao into freezing, but Zhou Yu attempted to rise. "Sun Ce!"

He had seen that look before, one time when he had been downed by an enemy general right beside Sun Ce, and another recently, on mother bear's face when Sun Ce had accidentally kicked a bear cub. In the former case, the opposing general was no more, and in the latter, they had mounted their horses and galloped quite a distance before they managed to escape.

"Sun Ce, no! Don't hurt her-"

Too late. With another bellow, Sun Ce lunged forward, his fists speeding towards Da Qiao.

"Hey, hey, man!" called a voice as Sun Ce toppled to the floor, and Ling Tong, who had tackled him down, with him. "Oof!"

"Sun Ce! Stop that!" Zhou Yu shouted, trying to rise up from the chair but failing and toppling over again. "Sun Ce!"

"I'm sorry! I'm so sorry!" Da Qiao screamed, her face white. She grabbed Zhou Yu's hands, tears jellying up in her eyes. "Zhou Yu, I am so sorry! I would never hurt you, or the baby- I don't know what's gotten into-"

"It's fine! I forgive you! You're under a lot of stress!" Zhou Yu shouted, his attention going back to Sun Ce and Ling Tong. "Sun Ce, stop that!"

"You little-" Sun Ce screamed, his face twisted in pure rage.

"Sun Ce!"

Da Qiao screamed and twisted out of Zhou Yu's grasp. She pulled Xiao Qiao to her, nimbly leaping both of them over to land behind the writing desk. She peered out fearfully, holding her sister close.

"What's going on?" Xiao Qiao squealed.

"Don't you dare-" Sun Ce bellowed, lost for words as he struggled in Ling Tong's grasp.

"Sun Ce, calm down! Calm down!" Zhou Yu shouted, struggling to rise to his feet. He lumbered over behind his swollen stomach, falling to his knees with a grunt in front of Sun Ce. "Calm down! Stop it!"

Sun Ce stopped, panting. "Yu?"

"Yes?"

"Are you all right?"

Zhou Yu narrowed his eyes. "I am fine. The baby is fine. But you owe Da Qiao an apology, for threatening her like that!"

"Are you all right?" Sun Ce asked again, plaintively. He slipped out from under Ling Tong (who, upon seeing that Zhou Yu had things under control, mutely let the stockier man go) and knelt in front of Zhou Yu. With gentle hands, he stroked Zhou Y's face and stomach.

"I'm fine."

"Are you all right?"

"I'm _fine!_"

"Are you all right?"

"_I'm fine!_"

Ling Tong leaned against the wall and looked around. "You know," he said to Da Qiao, "you just assaulted firstly, a high lord of Wu. But not only that, you just endangered a future secondary heir."

"Ling Tong-" Zhou Yu began, but stopped to pant. Even though he had barely exerted himself, the toll of carrying Sun Ce's child within his body put an extra tax on his breath.

"Hey, hey, I'm just saying, if any of this ever gets out, you know the punishment's bound to be bad consider both counts," he drawled. "So, hey guys, just don't ever mention this again? That sound good?"

"I am so sorry-" Da Qiao began, but Zhou Yu cut her off with an impatient way of his hand.

"Ling Tong is right." Leveling his gaze at with Da Qiao and Sun Ce, he spoke again. "From now on, none of this ever happened. Nor will it happen again, right?"

"Sis, Jie jie, why-" Xiao Qiao began, but Ling Tong cut her off.

"Hey, kid, do you want to get your sister in trouble?" he asked harshly, only to see horror on the child's face. "No? Thought so. Well, if you ever even say that your sister hit Zhou Yu, she's going to be in big trouble with Sun Quan. You don't want that, do you?"

Xiao Qiao's eyes welled up with frightened tears. "No-"

"Good, so you get it." Ling Tong sighed and held his hands out at his sides. "There, we're all set to go, right?"

"Don't scare her, Ling Tong!" Zhou Yu scolded.

"If she's not scared she'll spill the beans." The slender man gave Xiao Qiao a pat on the head and sauntered over to Zhou Yu and Sun Ce, straightening out his clothes. His robes were more conservative and less clingy and revealing than Ling Tong's usual wardrobe, but he still managed to exude an air of sensuality as he walked. "Well, well, hey guys! Long time no see!"

"Why did you hit Zhou Yu?" Sun Ce shouted, craning his neck to glare at Da Qiao, who withered under his gaze.

"Sun Ce, leave it. It was an accident," Zhou Yu repeated.

"_Why?_" Sun Ce bellowed.

"Sun Ce, I need to go to the bathroom," Zhou Yu said, thinking quickly. "Help me walk."

Gently, Sun Ce braced Zhou Yu against his own body and tenderly lifted the strategist up, taking all the weight on himself. "Yu? Are you okay?"

"I need to go to the bathroom," Zhou Yu repeated, seeing the blind rage slowly ebb from Sun Ce's eyes. "Sun Ce, let us go."

* * *

They walked deliberately and slowly out of the room and down the hall, Ling Tong ambling along behind them.

"Do you really need to go to the bathroom or was that just a ruse?" Ling Tong chuckled.

"Ruse?" Sun Ce snorted, as if breaking out of a trance. "What?"

"Yes, I need to go to the bathroom. The baby is putting pressure on my bladder all day, you know," Zhou Yu replied plainly. "And Sun Ce- were you about to attack your own ex-wife?"

"But- I saw her-" he began plaintively, like a child scolded for doing right.

"No matter, Sun Ce. I am fine-"

"Remember, this all never happened?" Ling Tong asked, rolling his eyes.

"Oh, yes," Zhou Yu said quickly. "Sorry."

"Oh right, oh right," Sun Ce said quickly. He reached an arm ahead and slid aside the door to the outhouse. "After you, Yu!"

The three men relieved themselves in silence.

"So, Tong, what brings you down here?" Sun Ce asked, grinning. "I wouldn't assume you're here to see us by any change eh?"

"'Course not, I just trundled my ass down here for no apparent reason. Just because I felt like it," Ling Tong snorted sarcastically. "Well I heard the news and I thought I'd take a look."

"Oh, I'm glad to hear that I am a curiosity," Zhou Yu laughed. "Ling Tong, how have you been?"

Ling Tong shrugged and refastened his pants. "Nothing as exciting as your guys'," he replied. "It's… I've been doing my job as best as I can. This world's my job to handle now… Kay? My responsibility."

Sun Ce and Zhou Yu stared, uncomprehending. It was quite unlike anything the usually-nonchalant man ever said.

"Nevermind, okay?" Ling Tong quickly snapped. "Besides, I've had a bit too much excitement for a long time… Time to sit down and slack off, eh?" he asked, but without any conviction aside from to uphold a certain image about himself.

Unsure of what to make of Ling Tong's unusual behavior, Sun Ce shrugged. "Well, good to know that you're hard at work," he said.

Ling Tong only laughed.

Feeling the mood lighten, Sun Ce smiled again. "So… Hey Tong, you and Gan Ning…" he said slyly. "So… You guys been, you know, getting up a bit lately?"

"Gan Ning's gone off," Ling Tong said abruptly. "He's wandering around. I have a job here and I'm staying to do it."

Zhou Yu gave him a 'Way to go Sun Ce' look. "I'm sorry to hear that, Ling Tong."

"Hell yeah! You guys were really hitting things up with each other two- ouch, shit Yu, why did you just elbow me like that?"

"But you two are still in contact?" Zhou Yu asked smoothly.

Ling Tong shrugged, looking rather miserable despite his attempts to remain aloof. "It's fine. We still write. When he says where he is I go visit."

"That's not enough, is it?" Zhou Yu asked quietly. Carefully, he put his hands on Ling Tong's shoulders from behind to comfort him. "Are you all right?"

Ling Tong stiffened at the intimate gesture. Zhou Yu never touched anyone in public aside from Sun Ce like that. "It's fine."

"No it's not. You're upset, aren't you?"

"I'm not. Even if I was, there's nothing I could do about it. I have a duty here and Gan Ning's just running everywhere. It's not like I can throw everything down and run after him, even if I wanted to," he added quickly.

Zhou Yu took his hands off of Ling Tong and rested them on his stomach. "All right," he said. "All right."

* * *

Zhou Yu's eyelids fluttered as Sun Ce's hands kneaded into his tired muscles. "Thank you, Ce."

"No prob." The Little Conqueror smiled and continued rolling his friend's flesh with his hands.

Carrying Sun Ce's unborn child really was hard work. He wondered how women had managed it through out all of humanity. His muscles were tight and strained, and his body felt as if it had been run through an ink press. The worst of it was concentrated in his back and his calves and inner thighs, which was what Sun Ce was currently loosening with loving, practiced hands.

"I don't know how women manage this," Zhou You groaned, echoing his mental question.

Sun Ce gave his friend's knees and thighs a last knead before continuing onto his calves. "Well, their bodies are built differently. I bet they're more adapted to this than you."

"You have a point- ooo, that is much better," Zhou Yu sighed happily as Sun Ce's hands gently kneaded out most of the tension in his calves. He let out a satisfied sigh and ran a hand around in a slow circle around his distended midsection, feeling the taut, smooth skin.

"It just sucks that you're the one who has to put up with all the physical stuff. It looks like a pain."

Zhou Yu half-closed his eyes. "I suppose?" he asked.

"Yeah. Uh, I feel kinda bad," Sun Ce said sheepishly. "I mean, I just look over and see you moaning and heaving that tummy around…"

"But you are really involved though… Not like a normal father-to-be. Normally men, we just leave the women to mind themselves. We might offer support but… But I know no one who was even half as involved as you, Ce. Do not worry. It is as if you're having the baby yourself to a point." He smiled, lifting his fine lips cheerfully.

"My father," Sun Ce said, continuing to massage Zhou Yu's lower legs. "I remember my father stayed by my mother's side. I heard he did when she was having me n' Quan… And I watched him when my mom was having my younger siblings."

Zhou Yu looked up curiously, which Sun Ce correctly took as a sign to continue.

"I was just a kid, but I remember bits of it. I thought that that was what a dad shoulda been doing… I mean if not for his wife at least for his kiddo. But I started thinking of, you know, the more normal thing for a father to do as the norm. But… Mom and Dad were really close. It wasn't a marriage like you see a lot. Mom even argued with her family to marry Dad… I think even more than husband and wife, they were close like… Well, lovers, and best friends."

"Like you and me, Ce." Zhou Yu tried to lean over to touch Sun Ce's shoulder, but the mound of a baby pushed him back. "Oof."

"Careful, Yu," Sun Ce laughed, stroking Zhou Yu's foot. "But yeah. Dad took care of Mom kinda like what I'm doing for you. Of course he was always out campaigning. But when he was home…." Sun Ce smiled, his eyes going distant at the memory. "You remember right? When he was home, Mom and us kids were his number one priority. Real family life, eh? But yeah, when she was pregnant, Dad was always fussing over her like… Like…"

"Like you," Zhou Yu said softly and smiled.

"Hah!" Sun Ce laughed and started to rub Zhou Yu's swollen ankles. Normally his slender feet were as shapely and lovely (as far as feet went at least) as jade carvings, but the strain of the pregnancy had caused his ankles to swell with fluid. "Gods, Yu, I never knew having a baby was so much work for your body. I always thought it was just like, you know, grow it in a sack."

"I had never truly thought about it," Zhou Yu laughed. "I spoke with Doctor Hao yesterday, when he came in to check on me. He said that everything was normal, and although some things were more severe than in women, it was to be expected." He yawned comfortably and leaned back into his soft pillows. "Thank you, Sun Ce. I feel much better now."

Sun Ce laughed and crawled up the bed to bellyflop next to Zhou Yu, grinning like a child. "Awww Yu," he laughed, reaching over to rub Zhou Yu's stomach.

Zhou Yu closed his eyes in pleasure.

But Sun Ce stopped and rose up, putting his nose against Zhou Yu's. "Yu. What's wrong?"

Zhou Yu opened his eyes. "Huh? What? Nothing is wrong, Sun Ce."

Sun Ce pouted. "No, something's wrong. Something's bothering you, Yu."

"No, don't be silly! I am fine! I am comfortable. Nothing is-"

"Liar, liar!"

"Sun Ce!"

"What's up?"

"Nothing!"

"No, tell me, tell me, tell me!"

"Nothing! I said nothing! I'm fine!"

"Zhou Yu, don't be mean. How long have we known each other? I know something's eatin' at you!"

Zhou Yu sighed. "it's nothing."

"Well if it's nothing, you can tell me right?"

"Okay, so I'm telling you nothing."

"Yu!"

"No really, do not worry-"

"Tellll meeee," Sun Ce pleaded, grabbing Zhou Yu's hands. "What's bothering you?"

Zhou Yu sighed and blushed, embarrassed. "Well…"

"Yeah?"

"I just…. All of a sudden I desire, I truly desire, a honey cake."

In a flash, Sun Ce had leapt off of the bed. "Wait just right there, Yu!"

"No! Sun Ce! It's just a craving-"

"Be right back!" Sun Ce grabbed his cloak and whirled out the door.

"You could have just sent a servant!" Zhou Yu shouted after him.


	7. Chapter 7

Sun Ce raced through the dark city.

In the late hour, the streets were mostly silent. Lights, music, and laughter filtered out from a few of the nocturnal establishments, glimmering like oases in the darkness.

The chill sunk in his exposed skin- he should have taken a heavier cloak! No time for that now. He had his mind set on one thing and one thing only.

He turned a corner and sprinted down a street, feeling in the darkness to feel for a door. To his surprise, it was locked. Quizzically, he lifted his lamp and squinted at the sign- Old Wang's Pharmacy? No! This was not the place! Where was the old bakery? He sighed, figuring that perhaps things had changed while he was gone.

Suddenly unsure of what to do, Sun Ce backed down the steps again and thought for a moment.

A burst of rowdy song surged into the air. An idea popped in Sun Ce's mind, and he grinned, running to the likeliest-looking, biggest winehouse and pushing the door open.

It was a bustling party atmosphere. All over the tables, men were gambling, drinking, and shouting, relieving the stresses of the day in the exuberance of the late night. The unifier of the land came in barely noticed until a keen old eye came down on him.

"Young Master!"

Sun Ce whirled around at the voice.

It was Huang Gai, leaning over a table and about to cast down his throw. Next to him was Cheng Pu, who was obviously waiting for his turn with the sticks.

"General Huang, General Cheng, hey!" Sun Ce called. "Just a moment?"

"What are you doing out here?" Huang Gai demanded, suddenly suspicious.

But Sun Ce ignored his urgent tone. "Just a moment!"

By now the chatter in the tavern had suddenly dropped, and patrons were craning their heads to see the Lord Sun's older brother, who had suddenly disappeared with the Lord Strategist right after conquering all of China.

Sun Ce strode straight to the counter, his mind an arrow. Ignoring the line, he leaned over the side of the serving counter and yelled. "Hey! Do you have honey cakes here?"

The servingman was torn between a line of impatient (but temporarily-distracted) customers and the man who was perhaps the most powerful in the world. He hesitated a few seconds but was pushed by his colleague, stumbling a few steps towards Sun Ce.

"Older Lord Sun," he said with a bow.

"I said honey cakes," Sun Ce repeated. "Do you have any?"

"I will go tell the kitchen to bake some right now-"

"You don't have any right now?"

"I am sorry. They are a lunch special, you see, and-"

"But you have the ingredients, right?"

The servingman resisted the urge to roll his eyes. The Little Conqueror might have defeated the other lords of the land, charged through battle after battle and some with no little of survival, and unified all of China only to drop it into his little brother's hand and ride off into the untamed frontiers with only his best friend…

But it was the curse of establishments everywhere, that each customer would, upon entering the premises and placing an order, immediately divide his IQ by the number of angry customers present and subtract from this total a number based on a point scale of how tough a day the server was having. This invariably assures that you will always get all the stupid customers at the worst times.

So yes Sun Ce had earned his place amongst the greatest in history, but he was still as idiotic a customer as the next man. Didn't he just say that they would go make some?

"Yes, my lord," the server said, marveling at how universal laws were truly universal.

"All the ingredients?"

Wow, not only were they universal but very effective. "Yes, my lord. I will go tell the kit-"

"Then can I order a dozen please? No, two dozen, if it doesn't take any longer," Sun Ce amended, just in case. Who knew how much Zhou Yu would want?

"Are there any last-minute changes that will impact the whole baking process or cause us to start from scratch? Any allergies or dislikes or sudden phobias?" the server asked, just to clear all bases.

Sun Ce looked at him in surprise. "No, why? I just want honey cakes!"

"Yes, my lord." The server shuffled off and yelled something to the kitchen before coming back. "I am sorry. We have to make them from scratch… And cut in front of everyone else's orders… But it will be about twenty minutes. Is that all right?"

Sun Ce frowned. He had wanted to get the cakes to Zhou Yu as soon as possible, but that apparently couldn't be helped. "Okay."

"Thank you. Apologies, my lord," he said, bowing and running back to take more orders.

"Sun Ce, Young Master, _why_ are you out this time of night- just for a snack? Can't you eat something else that the palace actually has in stock?"

The elder general, an experienced and valorous veteran of three generations of Suns, stomped over, bowling over anyone in his way. His grizzled demeanor and patchwork of scars were ominously shadowed in the light, but Sun Ce had too many memories of playing horsey and pirate with the old general to be too intimidated.

"Hi, Uncle Huang!" he said happily.

"Sun Ce! I asked you a question! And couldn't you have sent a servant or come with someone? You shouldn't be just running around by yourself-"

"I'm fine, I'm fine," Sun Ce insisted.

"Gongfu. He's not ten anymore." Cheng Pu came up next to his friend, albeit a bit more gracefully. "Hello, Young Master. But what I am curious about is… Why are you here? What is with honey cakes, and at this time of night? You've always been for having a midnight snack… I know Gongfu is…" he muttered, poking his comrade in the stomach, "But I am a bit curious. Can't you eat something else? The palace has had their sweets staff on fulltime ever since news got out that you got back-"

"No, no, they're not for me, they're for Yu," Sun Ce said, laughing.

"Zhou Yu?" Huang Gai lifted his bristly eyebrows in surprise. "He was never one for sweets though…"

"Yeah. But he's pregnant, so-"

"So I heard!" Cheng Pu interrupted. "Sun Ce, while you wait for your order, sit down with us! Here, drinks on me," he said. "Unless Gongfu comes out owing me more than I owe him right now…"

Laughing, Sun Ce followed his elders to the table they were playing at. "I'm glad to see you, Uncles!"

"Sorry we have not visited- there was a bit of unrest on the northern frontier. What a time for me to be called away from the city!" he laughed. "The barbarians were active on the front, and I only received the news on the way. I rested a few days, excuse me for being old of course, but I traveled and got here just this early evening. I was going to pay my respects but the Lord Sun told us you two had already retired to your chambers." Cheng Pu smiled, his wrinkles creasing. "But do tell-"

"And I just got back today too. I was supervising construction in Wuling and no way am I going to leave it to those old engineers!" Huang Gai declared, waving to a waiter for drinks.

"…But it's their job. They know how to build dams and you don't," Cheng Pu observed.

"Well, I don't trust them," Huang Gai explained.

"But if they did something wrong, you wouldn't be able to tell, would you?"

"That's not the point!"

Sun Ce laughed. Really, not much had changed while he was gone. "Good to see you guys though!"

"Yes, and we are glad to see you too, Young Master." Cheng Pu smiled kindly. "But… Well, I was full of disbelief at first. But talking around, everyone has confirmed the rumor…"

"Oh? Oh, yeah, that, Zhou Yu-"

"I suppose anything is possible! But I was surprised. Everyone always said that Zhou Yu was the most beautiful, more beautiful than any woman, but for him to actually turn _into_ a woman-"

"What? No! No!" Sun Ce shouted, waving his hands and accidentally hitting the waiter's tray and sending the carried wine to spill on the table behind them. "No, Zhou Yu- uh, he's still male, I mean…" Shouting that Zhou Yu did in fact still possessed fully functional male genitals in front of his 'Uncles' would be a bit embarrassing.

Cheng Pu frowned. "But I asked around! Everyone does confirm that he is with child…"

Even Huang Gai looked confused. "Well, doesn't it… You know, go hand in hand with…"

"No, he's still a man," Sun Ce said, unwillingly turning a bit red under the collar. "I mean. I'd know… If… Uh…" A silence, followed by a few more ellipses, continued.

Cheng Pu coughed. "But… Do tell us, what is going on?"

Sun Ce sat back, fiddling with his goatee, and related the story of the past months, ending with his appearance at the wineshop, until both generals' faces were white with shock. However, he was interrupted by a shout from the serving counter.

"Lord Sun, your order is ready!" the servingman called, pushing a wrapped box forward.

Startled, Sun Ce dropped the sticks he was holding, and they fell with a clatter.

Cheng Pu whistled in appreciation, recovering first. "You've beat both of us! Nine West Birds! You always were a lucky one!"

Sun Ce chuckled. "I didn't even bet anything yet?"

"No, we're playing Western style. You don't bet on your first turn but you can still get something."

Sun Ce laughed and gathered up the pot. He suddenly froze and continued laughing. "But do you know why I'm lucky to have won this?"

Huang Gai looked up, surprised. "It's only coppers-"

"No, I forgot my wallet with Zhou Yu," Sun Ce replied, taking up the winnings. "This should cover the cakes."

"They wouldn't refuse you though!" Cheng Pu exclaimed, laughing as well.

Sun Ce shrugged. "Zhou Yu would skin me. He likes keeping all accounts straight at all times," he explained.

"All right. But don't you want to stay for a drink?" Huang Gai asked.

Sun Ce shook his head. "I'd love to, but Yu's waiting for his cakes," he replied, then bowed in farewell. "You'll both come by tomorrow?"

"Of course." Cheng Pu leaned back in his chair, a teasing twinkle in his eye. "Well, run off, kid. I suppose your strategist is waiting for you."

Sun Ce flashed them both a grin. "Good night, Uncle Cheng, Uncle Huang!" he called, running to the counter to pay for the cakes.

* * *

Sun Ce charged back in the room with the box still hot in his hands. "Yu-" he shouted, but skidded to a halt when he realized that Zhou Yu looked to be asleep. He shut his mouth quickly and gently edged the door closed behind him. The beauty was lying on his side, facing away from Sun Ce. Underneath the pale blue sleeping robe, his ribs waved up and down slowly in breath.

Not wanting to disturb his sworn brother, Sun Ce stood still, unsure of what to do. Sweat clustered along the creases of his palms, mingling with steam from the covered box in his hands. Slowly, his eyes narrowed in concentration, he raised a foot and attempted to quietly walk. But to his ears, his footsteps sounded like a crash, and he knew that his friend was a light sleeper. Sun Ce raised his foot in a tiptoe and attempted again.

"You forgot your wallet."

Sun Ce's head shot up as Zhou Yu turned his head to face the ceiling, his lovely eyes moving the rest of the way to look at the Little Conqueror. "Yu! I thought you were asleep."

"I was only resting- but Sun Ce, _why_ did you just go running off like that?" Zhou Yu said harshly.

"Aww, c'mon Yu," Sun Ce wheedled. "You said you wanted-"

"I never said that I wanted you to go mucking about the city at night!"

In answer, Sun Ce plodded over and put down the still-steaming box next to Zhou Yu.

"I'm not hungry anymore." With that, Zhou Yu rolled his head back over to look away from his friend.

Sun Ce furrowed his brow in disappointment, looking a bit hurt. "'Course you are!" he protested. "You want them still, right?"

"I don't!" Zhou Yu flung the blanket aside and tried to swing his body into an upright position. The dramatic effect was mostly marred by his pregnancy getting in the way, and he struggled for a while until Sun Ce reached over and propped him up.

"But you said you wanted some-"

"But I didn't say that I wanted for you to go running off like that, did I?"

"C'mon, Yu, what are you so mad about? I did it for you!"

"Well I didn't want you to!"

"Fine, then I didn't do it for you. Happy?" Sun Ce exclaimed, exasperated.

"Next time, listen to what I say," Zhou Yu sighed grouchily.

Sun Ce opened the box and took out one of the soft cakes. "It smells really good, Yu!"

"No thanks." Zhou Yu glared at him angrily.

"Fine, fine, I'll eat one, right in front of you!" Sun Ce declared, picking up one of the sweet cakes and shoving it in his mouth.

Zhou Yu looked at him again with narrowed eyes.

"It's really good. Real sweet, really," Sun Ce continued, waving the half-eaten cake around until finally, with a sigh, Zhou Yu reached over and picked up a cake himself.

After a few minutes of chewing, Zhou Yu laughed.

"How is it?" Sun Ce asked cheerfully.

"It's good. But you know, it's odd. You don't listen, but you do listen," he said quietly, smiling.

"So you're not mad anymore?" Sun Ce asked hopefully.

"No. I am still quite irritated you just ran off. But thank you anyways."


	8. Chapter 8

"My goodness! Zhou Yu, you used to eat like a bird. But now I think you've outdone all of us!"

Zhou Yu laughed embarrassedly as he polished off another piece of pork. "I have been so hungry lately," he said sheepishly.

"I didn't think I was coming back to visit for the annual speed-eating contest," Cheng Pi chortled, stretching and eyeing the young man in an amused way.

"Me neither- man, I can't keep up," Ling Tong added, mock-groaning in jest.

Sun Ce reached over and rubbed Zhou Yu's distended stomach, which was swollen both from the pregnancy as well as his dinner. "Aww, think about it. He's eating for two now… And lookit the size of that thing. No wonder he needs so much for it."

"Just eating for one Sun Ce is a lot," Sun Quan chuckled. "Zhou Yu, have some more," he insisted, signaling a maid to pile up the strategist's plate with more meat.

"Thank you… Can someone pass me the jellyfish?" he asked hopefully.

"What? Yu, I thought you thought that stuff was disgusting!" Sun Ce exclaimed, but hurried to tip the rest of the place onto Zhou Yu's dish.

"I know." He wrinkled his nose. "But somehow, I want to eat it…"

"Huh, weird," Ling Tong snorted, grinning. "But hey, whatever floats your boat now."

"Oh, people's tastes can change over time. Cut him a break," Huang Gai shot.

"Well, probably not this abruptly!"

"I heard that pregnant women get all sorts of strange cravings," Zhou Yu said thoughtfully. "I suppose… A pregnant man is no different."

They all laughed as Zhou Yu shoveled down the yellowish tentacles, frowning in distaste as he ate.

"Yes, I still dislike it as much as I did as a child…. But may I have some more?"

Sun Ce hastily dumped his own bowl into Zhou Yu's plate. "Gods, Yu, what's next, sour melon?"

Zhou Yu stopped in mid-bite. "Are they… In season?"

Sun Ce gestured aggressively to an attending servant, who tore her eyes away from Zhou Yu's growing belly and stood to attention. "Got any sour melon?"

"No, my lord," she apologized.

"Then get whatever's closest that's available," he commanded.

As the servant ran off, Sun Quan let out a burp and laughed. "What is next? Perhaps we should go hunting for tiger liver now."

"Half a roll of silk on cactus fruit," Jiang Qin shouted.

"No, I think Sun Quan's more right. Something like meat," Ling Tong yawned, eyeing a dish of beef hungrily.

"Are you really betting on what I'm going to want next?" Zhou Yu exclaimed.

Ling Tong shamelessly tilted his head and lifted half his mouth in a smirk. "Yeah. Welcome home."

* * *

"Sun Ce, don't splash me!" Zhou Yu scolded, kicking a ripple of water in his friend's direction. As always, Sun Ce's suggestion that they go bathe together after dinner ended up as it always did:

"Water fight!" the Little Conqueror hollered, wading over to hide behind Lu Xun.

"Don't you dare get me involved! There's no way I'm- arg!" the little minister shrieked as a wave washed over him from Jiang Qin's direction.

"This is war! This is war!" Sun Ce hollered, diving under the shallow water and surfacing, his eyes shining.

"Don't challenge me on a naval battle! This is my turf- hey!" Huang Gai spun around as Cheng Pu sat snickering amongst decorative reeds in the shallower area, holding a bucket full of wet rags, one of which had just flattened itself against his friend's back.

"How old are you, ten?" Ling Tong scoffed from the shore. Strangely, he was the only one still fully clothed; even Zhou Yu was stripped down to only his pants, his pregnancy floating over the waistline.

"Gotcha!" Jiang Qin roared, hurling a soaked rag at Sun Ce but striking Zhou Yu square on the shoulder instead.

"If you led your troops the same way you aim, we'd have fired you years ago," Zhou Yu laughed, picking the cloth off and using it to wipe off his stomach. He touched the taut skin on it as if stroking the child he nurtured inside his body.

Sun Ce swam over with a splash, his eyes sparkling. "Hey Yu, whatcha looking so thoughtful about?"

Zhou Yu only smiled, his eyes resting gently on his friend's face. "What do you think?" he asked, resting both his hands on his bulging abdomen.

"I think I know," Sun Ce replied, putting his hands on his friend's knees and grinning. "You look contemplative."

"Why wouldn't I be? I'm just excited."

"Me too-"

"Not interrupting anything, am I?" Ling Tong snorted, tossing his hair. "Well, I think I-"

"Hey, Tong, what's a matter, too scared to join us? C'mon, we don't have cooties, I swear," Sun Ce shouted, throwing his pants back on the edge of the pond and swiveling his bare hips.

"No thanks," Ling Tong replied lazily. "I'd much rather watch you guys act like idiots than join in…"

"We'll make you!" Jiang Qin shouted back. The ex-pirate hurriedly grabbed Lu Xun's set of bathing supplies, snagged his only drying towel and dunked it in water, and promptly hurled the wadded, soaking cloth at Ling Tong.

When it struck him in the stomach, Ling Tong's face suddenly took on a fearful expression. For a moment, such a look of terror crossed over his face. But then a crease of anger struck, which was even more unusual considering that a certain pirate was not around. "You- you-" he spluttered.

Even Zhou Yu looked at him in surprise- why was Ling Tong getting so angry over nothing?

"That's what you get for being such a dump," Jiang Qin said, but with less conviction than before.

"That's it! I'm leaving!" Ling Tong snapped. "If you can't stop acting like a bunch of animals for just-"

"Ling Tong, what the hell is up? You're acting really weird!" Sun Ce exclaimed.

"Yes, what is wrong? Does it have anything to do with-"

"Bye, bye, bye!" Ling Tong called in a mock sing-song voice. He snatched up his belongings and turned on his heel, stomping away.

"Ling Tong, come back!" Sun Ce called.

"Go hump a porcupine!" Ling Tong shouted back, his face twisted in anger.

Sun Ce turned around and snorted in surprise. "What's wrong? We didn't even do anything! I didn't even drag him underwater by his feet like I was gonna!"

"Ling Tong, take off your pants," Zhou Yu commanded, shouting after the disappearing man.

Ling Tong snorted from about two yards away. "Eh, what? Oh great, now all of a sudden it's a stripsho-"

"Do it," Jiang Qin urged.

"No way!" Ling Tong snapped.

"You always prance around naked in front of us… Why is now any different?" Sun Ce asked suspiciously.

"'Cause now you're all pressurin' me like a whore!" Ling Tong snapped. "No way! I'm outta here," he said, slinging his bag over his shoulder and sauntering away.

"Ling Tong, come back here!" Zhou Yu shouted, trying to stand up.

But Ling Tong continued to hurriedly walk away, ignoring him.

"Hey, Tong, didn't you hear Yu? Hey, get back here!"

"Why?" Ling Tong shot, not turning his head.

"What is _up_ with you? What's wrong?" Jiang Qin called, standing up as well. "You're acting like Lu Xun caught with his hand in the cookie jar!"

"That wasn't my fault-" Lu Xun began, but Zhou Yu interrupted.

"He is hiding something. I believe he is-"

_Thump._ With a flying leap, Sun Ce took a running start and tackled Ling Tong to the ground.

"NO!"

Zhou Yu started. He had not heard the usually nonchalant Ling Tong sound so panicked since the debacle at He Fei. "Lin-"

"Get off!" Ling Tong screamed, shoving Sun Ce aside with an abnormal amount of strength.

"Tong, quit that! What the hell is up with you?" Sun Ce shouted as a flying arm smashed him across the head. "Hey, man! Stop it!"

"Let me go-"

"Sun Ce, bring him here!" Zhou Yu shouted, struggling to his feet against the weight of his abdomen.

"No! No!" Ling Tong shrieked.

"Arg! You little shit!" Sun Ce cried in frustration. It was taking all his strength to skill to keep the struggling, slippery man down.

"I _said_ let me go!"

"Not until you show us whatever you're hiding!" Jiang Qin quickly leapt up to help Sun Ce.

"Be gentle!" Zhou Yu warned, his eyes narrowing in suspicion.

Together, the two men hauled Ling Tong to his feet and pulled him over back to the bathing pool as their captive continued to howl out obscenities and protests.

"Yu- uh… Now what?" Sun Ce asked, unsure of what was going on by still intensely apprehensive of Ling Tong's bizarre behavior.

"Here. Hold him," Zhou Yu ordered, crouching down carefully and standing back as, with the desperation of a doomed man, Ling Tong thrashed wildly about.

When they had finally wrestled him into submission, Zhou Yu stepped forward again. With a deft motion, he pulled open Ling Tong's robe, revealing a sculpted, flat stomach.

Thoughtfully, Zhou Yu touched Ling Tong's torso.

A few minutes passed in silence before Zhou Yu spoke again.

"Ling Tong, you're pregnant, aren't you?"

Ling Tong let out a loud scoff as Sun Ce dropped him in shock. "Something in the drinking water, Zhou Yu? Don't be ridiculous. Now let me go. I have to go take a piss."

"Sun Ce," Zhou Yu whispered to his friend. "Threaten to punch him in the stomach."

"Okay, Tong, Zhou Yu just told me to punch you in the gut," Sun Ce announced, winding back his arm.

"Don't hurt it!" Ling Tong suddenly screamed, curling up into a ball and wrapping his arms around his midsection protectively.

"Hurt what?" Sun Ce demanded harshly.

"Ling Tong," Zhou Yu said gently.

"Go away!" Ling Tong cried, covering his face with his hand and making strange noises.

It took a while before they realized Ling Tong was sobbing.

Sun Ce knelt down, stunned. "Gee, Tong…" he said, at lost for words.

His father's death aside, no one had ever seen Ling Tong cry before. Eyes swollen and red, he looked up and snarled.

"Ling Tong… Just nod or shake your head," Zhou Yu said gently.

Ling Tong only glared at him balefully.

"General, what is wrong?" Lu Xun piped up, but Ling Tong ignored him.

"Answer me, Ling Tong. _Are you pregnant?_"

Ling Tong began to shake his head harshly, but after a moment's hesitation, he dropped his eyes to the ground and slowly nodded.

Jiang Qin and Sun Ce froze, stunned.

"Tong," Jiang Qin said quietly.

"Man, oh my gods…." Sun Ce said quietly. "I'm sorry…"

"Here… Come sit with us," Zhou Yu coaxed, motioning for the three men to come sit with him and Lu Xun.

Wordlessly, Ling Tong shook off Sun Ce's attempted to help him up and forcefully walked to sit down on the opposite site of the pool from Zhou Yu.

When they were all settled, Zhou Yu spoke again.

"Can you talk now?" he asked gently.

There was a silence before Ling Tong replied. "…Yes."

"How are you feeling?"

Ling Tong did not respond.

Zhou Yu sighed. "Okay… How far along are you?"

"Month. Two months. Whatever."

"Ling Tong… Why? And how?"

Dully, Ling Tong began speaking. "I… When I heard about you I went to see the last shipments of artifacts. I went through the records of the ones that were sold but found no incidents of male pregnancies. I looked at the wear and tear and read your letters. I looked at the dust and sediment stuck in the ink. I brought in experts on restoring antiques. I measured the distances you could have traveled in the time between shipments. By that, I marked where you two were searching and when you were months ago. And I made a map of your paths- where you were and when in the last year." He spoke in a monotone with his eyes to the ground. No a single trace of pride at his achievement glittered.

Sun Ce whistled appreciatively, impressed at the work the normally-unambitious man managed when he put his heart in it.

"I bought a Taoist guide to help me look for any magic. Using the map, I went and visited the cache locations."

"But you weren't gone for months!" Sun Ce observed.

"No, I took the shortest path between caches and rode day and night," he said dully. "I found what I was looking for. The Taoist said that it had traces of old magic left on it. It was the only thing that I found that could have been it…"

"What was it anyways?" Zhou Yu asked curiously.

"A stone slab. Part of the wall with handprints on it. I took it out and bought it back with me… But by the time I reached here the priest said that the magic had already been sucked away. There wasn't a lot left when I got there. I must have used up the rest of it for myself. Now it's just a rock."

Zhou Yu marveled at Ling Tong's sheer luck and determination. "Ling Tong…. Why?"

Ling Tong remained silent, staring at his own hands.

"Who is the father?"

Ling Tong did not respond.

"Ling Tong," Zhou Yu said warningly and Sun Ce rose threateningly.

Still, the slender man stayed mute.

"Who is the father?"

There was another silence. Then, Ling Tong moved his lips, his words barely audible. "I tracked down Gan Ning and visited him. We… We messed around the whole time I was there. I didn't tell him what I was planning."

"You do not think that having a baby will bring him back to us?" Zhou Yu said harshly.

"No."

"Uh huh…"

Sun Ce recognized Zhou Yu's tactic after it had been used so many times on him. Zhou Yu simply sat back and let the silence fill up, until his victim was forced to say something just to say something.

"But I'll have something, won't I?" Ling Tong said fiercely.

"Ling Tong, having a baby does not mean having Gan Nin-"

"To you it's not! But look at you! You don't know what it's like- you have- you've never-" Ling Tong spat, panting and lost for words. "You don't know what it's like," he seethed, his head down.

"General," Lu Xun began. "Perhaps you should… Consider this more-"

"What do you know about it?" Ling Tong screamed, whirling to face the young man. "What do you know about _anything_ besides your books?"

Lu Xun recoiled, hurt.

"What do _any_ of you know?" Ling Tong shrieked, throwing his head back. "What do any of you know about me and Ning? Or even about how I feel?"

"Ling Tong-"

Ling Tong shouted a vague, guttural insult and began striding away.

"Hey Tong-" Sun Ce shouted, but Zhou Yu shook his head.

"Oh my gods…" he sighed.

* * *

"Ling Tong did _what?_" Sun Quan spat out the water he was drinking.

"Uh, you heard us. Yeah."

Sun Quan stared, stunned. "But… Why?"

"I do not know-" Zhou Yu began before Sun Ce interrupted with his own guess.

"He misses Gan Ning. He feels like Gan Ning's left him, so he wants a part of Gan Ning with him, if he can't have him. And I guess this is part of what he wants, really… A while back he mentioned adopting a kid to raise with Ning, but now that Ning's disappeared out…."

"My gods. My gods…. What possessed him to do that?" Sun Quan muttered. "I-"

The door slammed open, and the subject of their talk came sauntering in, his poleaxe swung over his shoulders and his riding clothes hurriedly thrown on.

"Hey, hey, Lord Sun, I'm real sorry, but I gotta run- there's an incident back-" Ling Tong stopped when he saw Sun Ce and Zhou Yu sitting with Sun Quan. His face paling, he began to back out, but Sun Quan spoke.

"Ling Tong, stay. Come over here."

Wordlessly, he obeyed, a cold sweat trickling down his temples. By the time he approached them even his lips were pale.

"Hey, guys-"

"Sit here," Zhou Yu said calmly, motioning to the cushion next to him, where a tray with a dish of boiled pottage was set.

Ling Tong did so, still silent.

"Eat," Zhou Yu urged.

He slowly picked up a spoon and started to eat the mash. "What is it?"

"Millet. Rice. Seeds, brains, and beans…. It has nutrients you need, for the baby."

_Clatter._ Ling Tong dropped his spoon and spat out a half-chewed mouthful. "Look, I really gotta get going-"

"Ling Tong, it's okay. I know about what happened," Sun Quan said.

"Oh."

"It's okay."

"Oh."

They continued sitting in an awkward silence as Ling Tong's knuckles grew whiter and whiter.

"Ling Tong, why don't you stay here, in the capital, until-"

_Crack._ The wooden spoon that the young man had been gripping so tightly splintered into pieces. "No thanks," he said testily.

"Think about it," the Lord of Wu coaxed. "We already have the medical team assembled here. And we're already getting experience with Zhou Yu. Isn't it best that you stay here, or at least within a short distance?"

"Thanks, but no," Ling Tong repeated, his eyes flickering about the room, searching for escape. "Really, this is my own business."

"Hey, hey, as long as you're one of us, it's our business too!" Sun Ce protested hotly. "Really-"

"Let him go," Zhou Yu told him quietly, then turned his face towards Ling Tong. "Well, then we will see you again in the future. But do not wait to ask for help," he added with a warning tone.

"I'll keep that in mind." With that, the slender vassal forced himself up to his feet quickly and gave a rather truncated bow. "Well, guys, bye," Ling Tong said awkwardly, backing away before striding off hastily.

All the three sighed as Ling Tong disappeared.

"He would willingly subject himself to this?" Zhou Yu groaned, touching his own stomach.

Sun Ce looked over in concern, but his brother sighed and rubbed his forehead anxiously.

"I don't know what's going on with gender here anymore. I honestly, honestly don't."


End file.
